Is mum martyrdom expected?

“OH MY GOD, YOU DONT LOOK LIKE A MUM AT ALL!” 

, said a friend who I hadn’t seen in a very long time. She meant it as a compliment of course. But was it one?

So what are mums supposed to look like exactly? Exhausted? Stressed out? Coping, but only just?

Well no, I didn’t look like that actually. (Mind you, some days I DO look exactly like that. Don’t we all!)

While I know that it’s OK to be a toddler mum and feel good too, the guilt crept in. “Am I a good mum? Am I sacrificing myself enough? Does this show that I’m not taking my role seriously?”

Thankfully I snapped out of it quickly. Feeling and looking good is my right and it’s no proof of how I am as a mother. In addition, it’s noone’s business.

However, I don’t think all women would snap out of it so easily.

In fact, I know that many mums hesitate to ask for help and engage in self-care because they feel like it’s selfish. And, judging by my friend’s innocent comment, people simply *expect* to see a toddler mum who’s exhausted and stressed out.

Here’s the thing: If others expect you to be a sacrificing martyr, you’ll probably be one without even realising it, unless you make a conscious decision not to.

Do you need support to start feeling more like yourself again? I’m just an email away. You can also just book a free, non-binding chat with me here. We all deserve to do more than “just cope”.

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Hi, I'm Annie!

I’m a mum of two and a coach with a mission to help fellow mums prevent burnout, eradicate stress and overwhelm and live their best lives.

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